May 24, 2014
How Can I Be Honest Without Turning Him Off?
Editor’s Note: This is a no-holds-barred relationship column in Q and A format. Not for the prude or faint of heart. Rated R!
I’m so bad with timing. I feel that if I tell my husband how to do things in bed, it “kills the moment”. I feel it becomes a bit rote and all the feelings connected to it kinda gets thrown out the window. How can I have that “touch me here, not there” talk without sounding reproachful? Or is there another way of saying these lines without blowing him off?
“Can we slow down a minute?”
“Can you do that thing with your tongue again?”
There is nothing wrong with telling your guy what makes you feel good. Try telling him in a sexy way like “Oh yes, that feels soooo good” “Oooohh that’s it, baby, keep going” “Mmmmm that’s my spot” and other positive comments. Make sure your tone of voice is sexy and give him a smile when you do. You’ll be surprised at how eager he’ll want to please you when he knows you’re enjoying what he does.
Try not to sound like a boss and at least try to sound like you’re enjoying it. Let him do his thing, but try to guide him with a sexy voice, or guiding him with your hands or something. It’ll only bruise a guy’s ego and probably hinder his performance if you sound like a drill sergeant, or much worse, his mom by telling him what to do in bed in that manner. If it still doesn’t work, talk about it another time. He’ll come around.
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